Over at DignityMemorial.com, Dr. Therese Rando, a clinical psychologist in Rhode Island here in the United States, has written an article: "12 Insights into Grieving After the Death of Your Loved One". Among her insights: "It Takes Time" -- even though many of us have this preconceived idea that our grief is automatically healed by the 6-month or 1-year mark. Also: "Grief is Personal and Unique" -- everyone has their own individual relationship with the deceased, and everyone processes grief in their own way.
One particular excerpt from her article really stood out for me:
"In our society, there is a curious social phenomenon. On the one hand, we have relationships with dead people all the time. We learn about dead people in history, are influenced by them in philosophy and are moved by them in the arts. We celebrate holidays to remember them, dedicate buildings in their honor and visit museums to see how they lived. In virtually all aspects of our lives, we are in a 'relationship' with the dead.
However, on the other hand we are told that we have to 'get on with life' and 'let go and put the past behind.' It seems that in Western society it is acceptable to have a relationship with a dead person as long as you didn’t know that individual personally. This is why you could be criticized for displaying a certain photograph of your departed loved one, but it is permissible to have Princess Diana's face on a memorial plate hanging on your wall. Clearly, there is a double standard."
Dr. Rando brings a lot of insight and wisdom to the subject of grief, and the whole article is absolutely worth reading in its entirety.
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