Articles Worth Reading: Grief and Isolation

Over on her website griefandmourning.com, author Jade has a good article on the pitfalls of becoming isolated while we are grieving the loss of our loved ones.  I personally know all too well that this is a trap that is all too easy to fall into.  Jade writes:

"One of the most painful parts of the grief process is the experience of grief isolation. It’s bad enough that your loss already left you feeling alone and singled out from the rest of the world, but now, with no way of knowing how to respond to such tragedy, most grievers tend to go further into the isolation of pain and profound loneliness. While this is a common course people find themselves going toward, it doesn’t mean that it’s the best course to follow."

Lots of good suggestions here on how to combat "grief isolation", as well as many of the psychological traps we can fall into while we're dealing with our loss, and what we can do to correct them.

Videos That Have Helped: Relieving Anxiety

Anxiety can be a major component of our grief.  Sometimes I feel like I've experienced more anxiety in the last seven months than I have at any other point in life.  For me, it mostly has to do with worrying about friends and remaining family, or about where my future is heading.  Dr. Ali Mattu has another really great video to help out: "10 Quick Anxiety Relief Techniques".

 

 

Videos That Have Helped: Pet Loss

One of my favorite YouTube channels as of late has been Dr. Ali Mattu's The Psych Show.  Dr. Mattu has a really good video from 2019: "Losing a dog is like losing a family member".  Very helpful and comforting if you are struggling with the loss of a beloved pet.

Articles Worth Reading: "12 Insights into Grieving After the Death of Your Loved One "

Over at DignityMemorial.com, Dr. Therese Rando, a clinical psychologist in Rhode Island here in the United States, has written an article: "12 Insights into Grieving After the Death of Your Loved One".  Among her insights: "It Takes Time" -- even though many of us have this preconceived idea that our grief is automatically healed by the 6-month or 1-year mark.  Also: "Grief is Personal and Unique" -- everyone has their own individual relationship with the deceased, and everyone processes grief in their own way.

One particular excerpt from her article really stood out for me:

"In our society, there is a curious social phenomenon. On the one hand, we have relationships with dead people all the time. We learn about dead people in history, are influenced by them in philosophy and are moved by them in the arts. We celebrate holidays to remember them, dedicate buildings in their honor and visit museums to see how they lived. In virtually all aspects of our lives, we are in a 'relationship' with the dead.

However, on the other hand we are told that we have to 'get on with life' and 'let go and put the past behind.'  It seems that in Western society it is acceptable to have a relationship with a dead person as long as you didn’t know that individual personally. This is why you could be criticized for displaying a certain photograph of your departed loved one, but it is permissible to have Princess Diana's face on a memorial plate hanging on your wall. Clearly, there is a double standard."

Dr. Rando brings a lot of insight and wisdom to the subject of grief, and the whole article is absolutely worth reading in its entirety.