Philosophy of Dying: Confucius and Zhuang Zhou

Alexus McLeod is an Associate Professor of Philosophy and Asian Studies at the University of Connecticut.  In 2017 he penned an article: "What Chinese Philosophers Can Teach Us About Dealing With Our Own Grief".  He references writings from Zhuang Zhou, the Daoist philosopher who lived during the 4th Century B.C.E.  One particular insightful incident occurred when a friend of his, Hui Shi, finds him joyfully beating on a drum following the death of his wife, and reprimands Zhuang Zhou for his behavior.  Zhuang's response?

"Zhuang Zhou replies that when his wife first died, he was as upset as anyone would be following such a loss. But then he reflected on the circumstances of her origins – how she came to be through changes in the elements that make up the cosmos. He was able to shift his vision from seeing things from the narrowly human perspective to seeing them from the larger perspective of the world itself. He realized that her death was just another of the changes of the myriad things constantly taking place in the world. Just as the seasons progress, human life generates and decays.  In reflecting on life in this way, Zhuang Zhou’s grief disappeared." 

Of course, grief doesn't go away so easily for so many of us, but Zhuang Zhou's perspective might be helpful to meditate on.  Dr. McLeod also mentions how the Chinese philosopher Confucius  (c. 551 B.C.E. - c. 479 B.C.E.) suggested a three-year mourning period after the death of one's parent -- quite extraordinary by modern standards.  But for Confucius, anything less would not be appropriate.  According to McLeod, there is also a communal and ancestral component to our grief that cannot be ignored:

"There is more to the Confucian response to death than grief. Our encounter with others inevitably changes us. Those closest to us, according to the early Confucians, particularly family members, play the greatest role in determining who we are. In that sense, we are representatives of particular communities than detached and autonomous individuals.

After all, many of our physical features and personalities originate from our ancestors. In addition, we learn many of our attitudes, preferences and characteristic ways of acting from our families, friends and neighbors – the creators of our culture. So, when we consider the question of what we are as individuals, the answer necessarily encompasses members of our closest community."

Philosophy of Dying: Seneca - Part II

There was another quote from Mustapha Itani's article on Seneca that I think is worth mentioning, and that has to do with the memories we have of loved ones who have died, especially if they've passed away recently.  Again, Seneca addresses his friend Marcia, who lost her son at a young age:

"Then, Seneca states that it is an awful choice not to consider the entirety of [Marcia's] son’s life, and focus only on the tragic ending: 'you pay no attention to the pleasure you have had in your son’s society and your joyful meetings with him, the sweet caresses of his babyhood, the progress of his education: you fix all your attention upon that last scene of all.'”

After reading this, I realize that many of us who are grieving, including myself, might be better off heeding Seneca's advice.  When we lost someone we loved dearly, we tend to focus on our final moments with them, especially if those memories were extremely stressful and/or sorrowful.  As a consequence, we tend to bury or forget the memories of all the good times we had with them, which in all likelihood greatly outnumber the sad or negative memories.  As day-to-day life slowly becomes more manageable for me, I'm putting more effort in to remember the numerous good times I had with my mother and Carter and Milton.

Philosophy of Dying: Seneca

Seneca (circa 4 BCE - 65 CE) was one of the great Roman philosophers, who along with Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, was instrumental in the promotion of Stoicism.  Over at dailystoic.com, Mustapha Itani has a great in-depth piece in how Seneca attempted to comfort his friend Marcia, who lost her son Metilius to death.  Lots of great content here, and this one stood out for me particularly:

"In a clear statement of Stoic determinism, Seneca gives an analogy to express the true nature of life, in which he states that life is just like an inn and that all of us will soon leave to make space for another guest. He states that our time here is short and all men and their works have a brief time here, and take no part of infinite time. People always say that someone “died early” and “before their time”, but in actuality, Seneca argues, every man has a time in this life that has been assigned to him, and that no one dies before his time. We always associate death with old men and old age, but death is always floating around everyone, even the youngest of children.

Seneca finishes with an essential reminder, that we should evaluate life not by length and years, but by virtue. One should not measure life by the number of years lived, rather by what has been accomplished and how it was lived..."

Philosophy of Dying: Socrates

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates (circa 470 - 399 BCE) is often thought of as the founder of Western philosophy.  He was also considered a highly controversial figure.  Accused of corrupting the youth of Athens, Socrates was sentenced to death after a one day trial, for which he was made to drink from the poisonous hemlock plant.  

Gregory Elder, a professor emeritus of history and a priest in the Roman Catholic Church, offers some fascinating insights into Socrates's views on death and dying:

"The body, [Socrates] asserted, was a messy pit of passions and rude cravings. The soul, rather than the flesh alone, was capable of seeing truth, and therefore death was the moment when the soul would be set free to find true virtue and happiness.

....

Socrates’ friends asked how he could be so sure the soul was immortal. What if it just died with the flesh? How does one know that the soul really exists at all?

What if men and women are in reality just talking meat machines?

....

First of all, he argued, the soul must be immortal because life always comes from the dead as we see in nature. In the decaying of organic matter, new life in the fields always emerges. As nature always seems to generate new life out of decay, so too the soul must emerge alive when the crumbling flesh perishes.

Death, he said, will be like waking up from a sleep."

Father Gregory's article, which is definitely worth reading in its entirety, can be found here.