It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 1/2 years since my mother passed away. A few days ago I had to convert it into days and discovered that it had been 892 days. 892 days! That really puts things into perspective. There were countless times I thought I wouldn't be able to make it through another day, let alone nearly 900 days. There were days when everything felt like a dream, and days when everything felt like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. Days when I was terribly restless, and days when I didn't want to get out of bed at all. Days when I couldn't stop ruminating over what I had lost, and days when I was grateful for what I still had. Days when God felt especially close, and many other days when God seemed nowhere to be found. And yet, here I am. Whether it's for the better or for the worse, I'm still standing.
I feel like I've been through as much change in my life since the start of COVID than in the 43+ years before the pandemic started. I'm sure many other people feel the same way, even if it might feel a little exaggerated. Time feels like it has accelerated. Many of us are no longer the same people we were before this all started. It reminds me of a joke someone posted: "Can we all admit that in 2019, when we were asked the question: 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years?' that we all got the wrong answer?" How many of us thought we would be where we are today? Many of us have endured horrible losses and trials over these last few years. So much of what gave our lives some sense of stability and predictability has been yanked away from us. It's a good reminder to all of us to not take anything in our lives for granted. At the same time, it's so important to remember that none of us can predict the future. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? With that, we all need to be focused on the day we have before us.
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