A Farewell to my friend Tom and his dad.....

As I mentioned in a previous post, my friend Tom died from brain cancer last December, the day after Christmas.  One thing I didn't mention -- because it hadn't happened yet -- was that Tom's dad, who was also dealing with major health issues, died on January 11, 16 days after Tom. I'm sure that Tom's passing was the final straw for him.  Losing a parent is difficult enough, but I can't even imagine what losing a child must feel like.

And it was a month ago, June 26, that I made another trip to Bowling Green, to deliver some remarks at their joint graveside service.   Some people might wonder why families might wait so long to have a service -- my dad and my brother and I waited until July and August to do my mom's -- and I think that sometimes people just need some time and space and be in the right place emotionally before they can do it.  Plus it might take time to gather everyone together into the same space.  That was certainly the case with my family.

The service for Tom and his dad was wonderful.  It took place at Oak Grove Cemetery, which is located on the Bowling Green State University campus.  Interestingly enough, the cemetery has been there since the 1800s, and the university wound up growing around it.  All together, there were 17 of us there, which was the exact same number at my mom's memorial service four years prior.

 Since Tom and his dad were both military veterans, they had the honor of receiving a full "21 gun salute" from local members of the military.  And in spite of the family's fears that people wouldn't have much to say, it turned out that a number of us had *a lot* of good things to say about the two of them.  And it was just our luck that day -- in spite of the forecast calling for rain, the sun was out shining for the entirety of the event.

I still feel the absence of Tom and his dad to this day.  And since the Ellis family was there for me during my time of grief, I'm hoping I can do the same for them and return the favor.  Sometimes the best thing you can do for other people who are sad and grieving is simply by showing up and being there for them.