Depicting Grief in Art: Vincent Van Gogh

Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890) was only in our world for 37 years, and yet the prolific Dutch artist created over 2000 works of art.  Interestingly enough, most of his 800+ oil paintings were created during the last two years of his life.  One of them, "Sorrowing Old Man (At Eternity's Gate)", was painted in May of 1890:

 

Journalist and teacher Jozef P. Astley has a great article on the background and inspiration for this Van Gogh painting, and cites art historian Kathleen P. Erickson's analysis of this work:

“Bent over with his fists clenched against a face hidden in utter frustration, the subject appears engulfed in grief. Certainly, the work would convey an image of total despair had it not been for the English title van Gogh gave it, At Eternity’s Gate. It demonstrates that even in his deepest moments of sorrow and pain, van Gogh clung to a faith in God and eternity, which he tried to express in his work.”

Van Gogh would commit suicide a little over two months later.

 

Practices That Have Helped: Being Out in Nature

Lately, I've been doing something that I hadn't done in a long time: go out into nature and just be.  No agenda, no rush -- just find somewhere comfortable to sit and just watch everything going on around me.  And preferably somewhere where there wasn't a ton of people around to distract me.  Not that I don't enjoy being around people, mind you!   It's just that I wanted my primary focus to be on nature and not on what the other people around me were or weren't doing.

Since my mom and the pets have transitioned, I've found it helpful for my grief and anxiety to sit on a bench along the riverfront and just watch the birds -- I think bird-watching is becoming my new hobby!  Yet I also find it therapeutic to watch the squirrels, rabbits, and deer scurry by, and hear the rustling of leaves in the trees.  Being out and about in the natural world has made me realize that life and love continue on in this world, and that none of us are ever truly alone.

Claire B. Willis and Marnie Crawford Samuelson wrote this wonderful article on how being in nature can help us deal with our grief.

Loss Through Music: R.E.M.'s "Everybody Hurts"

It's so easy for us to forget, myself especially, that we are not the only ones who are dealing with pain in our everyday lives.  All too often we fall into the trap in thinking that other people "have their lives together", when the reality might be that they just do a better job of masking their problems and hardships.  The older I get, the more I realize that we are all tested by life, and that none of us are likely to leave our earthly life unscathed by what has happened to us.

That's why I love R.E.M.'s 1992 hit song "Everybody Hurts".  It really makes you think about the multitude of issues that we are all facing in our individual lives, and yet we can be so unaware of what other people are dealing with -- that's why I believe we all need to work on being extra kind and understanding to one another -- because we are all dealing with various kinds of hurt in our lives.  I always find this song comforting when I'm having a rough day.

Personal Musings: When Our Loved Ones Suffer

A few days ago I was ruminating on the loss of my mother and our pets.  It occurred to me that there was something almost inconsistent in the way I was processing my losses.  When my mom and Carter and Milton were sick and not doing well, it usually did not stop me from getting a decent night's sleep.  Now that they have all transitioned away from earthly life, getting rest is sometimes more difficult.  Why is that?  The easy answer is that I'm still grieving their loss of companionship, even though they have all more than likely been freed from all pain and suffering.  Shouldn't I be celebrating, then?  And shouldn't I have been MORE concerned and worried about their well-being when they were still around and in the pain and discomfort they were in?  I almost feel like I'm a hypocrite, maybe even a bit inhuman.  I'm beginning to realize that grief exposes a lot about who we are as individuals, and sometimes those traits are things that I never would have suspected before.