Practices That Have Helped: Taking Up Hobbies

Life coach Michelle Beltran wrote an article on her website from March 2020, just as the COVID pandemic was beginning to take off: "Taking on Hobbies to Cope with Grief".  From her article:

"Losing someone can be very traumatic for anyone. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. While there is no correct way to grieve, there are still methods of healthy healing. When trying to cope with grief, one may feel alone in their sorrow or hopeless in their recovery. One should remember that they are not alone, as thousands of people experience this emotion almost daily. In cases where grief counseling doesn’t suffice, individuals can take on hobbies to help them cope with grief."

I have taken Michelle's advice to heart in recent weeks.  Taking on new hobbies and/or reviving old hobbies that we haven't made time for can be helpful in rediscovering some of the small joys of living.  Sometimes these hobbies can be ours and ours alone, or they could also be interests that our deceased loved ones enjoyed and pursued.  Either way, pursuing hobbies can give us that tiny spark to make us realize that there is still much to enjoy in life, in spite of our losses.

Since we are also living in times of increasing financial strain, which can oftentimes add to the stresses we are already feeling, I found another useful article at freshhobby.com in relation to this: 30 Hobbies You Can Start for Under $30.

Dying & Grief in T.V. & Cinema: M*A*S*H

August Goforth, who I quoted extensively in a previous post here, was kind enough to share a link that some of you might find helpful if you're dealing with grief.  The subject in question is from the iconic television show M*A*S*H, namely episode 11 from season 10, "Follies of the Living, Concerns of the Dead", which originally aired on January 4, 1982.

 

This particular episode was considered somewhat controversial for the time, as it follows the spirit of a dead soldier, Private Jimmy Weston (played by actor Kario Salem) who doesn't realize that he's died.  Weston drifts around the 4077 Base, listening to the various conversations among the regulars, unable to get their attention.  The only person who can see and hear him is Klinger (played by Jamie Farr), who is suffering from a delirious fever.  Eventually, Weston realizes that he is dead, and ponders the meaning of his life. 

You can read a detailed summary of the episode here at the M*A*S*H fandom site, although I definitely think it's worth spending the approximate US $2.00 on one of the streaming services to watch the episode in its entirety.  There were a couple times during the episode where I myself got a little teary-eyed, and it made me realize how so many of the things we get worked up about in our earthly lives seems so trivial and superficial.  Highly recommended if you are experiencing grief.

 

Personal Musings: Good Days and Bad Days

A lot of people over the last few months have asked me how I'm doing, especially in light of all the family loss I recently endured.  My response to their question?  Over and over again, I tell them that I don't really have "good days" and "bad days" anymore.  It's been hard for me to have good days in light of what's happened to me over much of the last year.  At the same time, I really don't have "bad days" either, because how can anything top losing your beloved family members?  Instead, I explain that instead of good days and bad days, I have "days that are manageable", and "days when I really struggle".

Several months ago, I would say that most of my days were the struggling ones, with only a few days here and there that felt manageable.  Nowadays, I'm having a slightly higher percentage of days that are manageable.  I can't remember where I first read it, but it's becoming clearer to me now: we don't ever fully recover from our grief -- we just get better at learning to live with it.

Books That Have Helped: "Hello From Heaven!"

Bill and Judy Guggenheim, authors of the 1995 classic book "Hello From Heaven!", are often heralded as pioneers in the research field known as "After Death Communications", or "ADCs" for short.  The Guggenheims interviewed over 300 people who spoke about being contacted by their deceased loved ones.  Some of these individuals received communications from their lost loved ones almost immediately after their deaths, while others received their first contacts months or even years later.  The chapters are organized primarily by the method of communication received: some detect familiar smells of their deceased relatives, others hear voices, bodily appearances, visitations through dreams, and some even receive messages over the telephone.

"Hello From Heaven!" will probably not appeal to those with a strong scientific mindset, as there isn't anything in the way of "hard evidence" to convince such readers.  But for those who are willing to trust and believe in the accounts and stories of those who were interviewed in the book, "Hello from Heaven!" can provide an enormous amount of hope and comfort.  Even though I've had the book for many years, I continue to find it a major source of solace, especially in recent months.