Practices That Have Helped: Keep Moving!

A few years ago, I found this message inside a Chinese fortune cookie: "The solution to grief is motion."  Not a fortune, of course, but a wise saying nonetheless.  Over the last couple months, I have tried to apply these words into my daily life, as I continue to work through my own grief.  Whether it's doing physical labor or going for a leisurely-paced walk, staying in motion has helped in dealing with my own sadness and anxiety.  Trying to do ANYTHING physical can feel like an enormous effort, especially if you are still in the early stages of grief -- but if you can find a way to make yourself do something, I have found that it does give you some sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, even if you're feeling lousy the rest of the time.  Baby steps every day.

Personal Musings: Getting Rid of Our Loved Ones' Stuff

A couple days ago, my dad made a comment to me that really stuck: as we've been getting rid of my mom's stuff, he said it felt like he "was burying her all over again".  Since this remark was made, both his mood and my own have improved, I'm happy to say.

Getting rid of our deceased loved ones' belongings can be an emotional experience, no doubt about it.  What makes it a lot easier is when you don't have to do it alone, especially when the person or people you're doing it with also knew your loved one.  Along with our house cleaner, who has been doing a wonderful job helping us out, the three of us have thrown out a number of my mom's things -- things that were old, worn out, or not likely to be wanted by someone else.  Yet there have been a lot of other things that we've been able to pass on to other people.  And a lot of those people have been thrilled by what they received.  It makes me feel good knowing that a number of my mom's things will go on to enrich, bring joy, or improve the lives of other people.  To me, it's another way to honor and carry on her legacy.

I would like to think my mom would approve.

Articles Worth Reading: Grief and the Highly Sensitive Introvert

Handling grief can be difficult, but individuals who identify as highly sensitive (HSPs) and introverted can face additional daunting challenges.  Being introspective as well as highly emotional, highly sensitive introverts might need to invest in additional self-care as they navigate the rough terrain of grieving and loss.

Over at the website Introvert, Dear, Kimberly Morata has a very helpful and practical article: "How to Cope With Grief and Loss as a Highly Sensitive Introvert"  She writes:

"Some research has found that, yes, [introverts grieve differently] since introverts gain energy through solitude. And whereas an extrovert may benefit from participating in an in-person grief recovery support group, for example, introverts may prefer to grieve privately instead."

On a personal note, this resonates pretty strongly with me.  The potential downside, I've come to realize, is that our need for privacy can sometimes lead to isolation, which can put us further away from the people and resources that can help us in the healing process.  Morata has a number of useful ideas that highly-sensitive introverts can put into practice, including using meditation apps, exercise, talking one-on-one with a religious or mental health professional, volunteering, journaling, and utilizing online support groups.  Lots of helpful advice here if you're an HSP and introvert and trying to get "unstuck" from your grief.

Practices That Have Helped: Taking Up Hobbies

Life coach Michelle Beltran wrote an article on her website from March 2020, just as the COVID pandemic was beginning to take off: "Taking on Hobbies to Cope with Grief".  From her article:

"Losing someone can be very traumatic for anyone. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. While there is no correct way to grieve, there are still methods of healthy healing. When trying to cope with grief, one may feel alone in their sorrow or hopeless in their recovery. One should remember that they are not alone, as thousands of people experience this emotion almost daily. In cases where grief counseling doesn’t suffice, individuals can take on hobbies to help them cope with grief."

I have taken Michelle's advice to heart in recent weeks.  Taking on new hobbies and/or reviving old hobbies that we haven't made time for can be helpful in rediscovering some of the small joys of living.  Sometimes these hobbies can be ours and ours alone, or they could also be interests that our deceased loved ones enjoyed and pursued.  Either way, pursuing hobbies can give us that tiny spark to make us realize that there is still much to enjoy in life, in spite of our losses.

Since we are also living in times of increasing financial strain, which can oftentimes add to the stresses we are already feeling, I found another useful article at freshhobby.com in relation to this: 30 Hobbies You Can Start for Under $30.