Do Animals Grieve? Part II

In a previous post, I talked a little about whether animals feel grief towards each other when one of their own dies.  This raises another possibility -- we all know that we humans grieve the loss of our animal companions, but do our animal companions grieve us when we pass on from this world first?  I present a few stories culled from the web that seemingly demonstrate that animals feel sadness from the loss of their human companions.

First, a 2016 story about a cat in Central Java, Indonesia, who apparently misses her dead owner so much that she had spent over a year at the grave of the woman she loved the most.  Even though a kind passer-by tried to give the feline a new home, she kept returning to the graveside:

The second story relates to a 34 year-old cowboy from Paraguay, Wagner Lima.  Lima was killed in a motorcycle crash in Brazil on New Year's Day, 2017.  During the funeral procession, Lima's horse, Sereno, was heard whimpering, and even at one point put his head on Lima's casket:   

Finally, there's a YouTube video of dogs that appear to be grieving the loss of their owners:

Some people have provided alternate explanations for some of these stories, that the animals in question are not really grieving but are exhibiting other behaviors.  Still, it's interesting to ponder the possibility that animals may miss their human companions in a similar way that we miss them when they take leave of this world.

Words of Comfort: From a Dear Friend

At the end of July I was recalling an extremely vivid dream I had had the previous night with my friend Kari.  It was springtime and I was at my dad's place.  He told me that my mom had been "missing" since the winter and was presumed dead.  I then walked into an adjacent room -- I believe it was the study -- and saw my mom's lifeless body lying in bed.  (Funny that my dad didn't bother to check the next room!)  I approached my mom's body, and then, all of sudden, she became reanimated -- she opened her eyes and started talking.  I remember hugging her and remembering how her face felt and smelled.  Then I woke up, and spent a good portion of that day in tears-- something I hadn't done in a while.  After I recalled this to Kari, she wrote the following words to me:

"Maybe it would help you to realize that your mom is still with you, but in a different form.  If we are energy, if we are spirit and soul, then she's just as much with you now as she was two years ago. It's just that we want what we know and it's hard to see and feel something new.  I know it's not as satisfying.  Not right now anyway.  I think that's because we don't understand the purpose of earth.  I think if we did, we wouldn't see that a person died.  I think we'd see that they were still on their journey, just like us.  And that your souls aren't disconnected.  It's just a new level of enlightenment."

Kari's words have been a source of comfort to me in recent days, and I hope they are a comfort to you as well, dear reader, during your time of grief.

Practices That Have Helped: Replacing Sorrow With Humor

A little over a month ago -- June 30, to be precise -- I was talking with my friend Kari via text messaging.  The conversation went like this:

Kari: "Hey, I just had a really crazy thing happen to me.  And I'm pretty sure you're supposed to do this little exercise when you're ready.  So if you are open to it I'll tell you about it."

Me: "Sure!  I can try it later this evening when my dad and I are back home.  Tell me about it!"

Kari: "Is there anywhere in the house or somewhere there in the area that makes you feel sad?"

Me: "Sometimes it's the guest bedroom on the first floor.  Our cat Milton and I would spend a lot of time together there."

....

Kari: "Ok, what are your favorite comedies to watch?  Movies or TV.  What's hilarious to you?"

I then gave Kari a list of my favorite funny TV shows and movies.

Kari: "Ok.  You need to go into the room and watch something that will make you laugh.  Be in that room and laugh.  Do it a couple different times.  And you'll start to feel happiness in that room...I'll look forward to hearing your experiences.  And do me a favor.  After you watch your movie or show, take a minute to stop and have a quiet moment to feel the vibe in the room.  Stop and feel and listen and take it all in."

 

In the weeks since, I've done exactly as Kari instructed me to do. I took my laptop into the room where Milton and I used to spend time together, and watched some funny YouTube videos.  And you know what?  I think there might be something to this technique.  The guest bedroom doesn't feel as sorrowful as it once did -- things feel a little lighter in there.  I saw a saying on the webpage of a former classmate of mine: "Change the narrative.  Laugh in the places you've cried."  Maybe you should give it a try, dear reader, and let me know if it works for you.

Dancing Your Grief Away? Why Not?

I had mentioned in one of my previous posts on how staying in motion -- such as exercising -- can help deal with the worst aspects of grief.  Well, it looks like the whole concept has been taken to a new level.  Over at Good News Network, there's a new story: "Dance Away Your Tears With This 'Grief Disco Kiosk'."  The story profiles British artist Anna Nicholson, who is collaborating with several different organizations, to convert old European-style K67 kiosks into places where people can express their grief through the medium of dance.  According to the article, "there’ll be meditation and yoga workshops, dance classes, and “grief raves” where clubbers can request tracks that remind them of absent or lost loved ones."  Nicholson is no stranger to grief, after losing her mother, sister, and sister's partner in a helicopter crash, and her father a few years later to cancer.  A few years earlier, Nicholson was involved in another creative venture, using an ice cream truck to entice people to show up for some sweet treats as well as providing a venue for discussing their issues with grief and loss.  It all goes to show that even amidst our grief, there is still a lot of room for being creative and reaching out to others!